Weekly Tip from the Love and Logic® Experts
Dear Insider Club Member,
Do you know parents who believe that it's their job to prepare the world for their children…so that their kids never experience any struggle, discomfort, or disappointment?
Maybe you know a slightly different variety…those who try to micromanage their children into being successful.
Both types love their kids. Nevertheless, both types make it much harder for their children to develop personal responsibility and self-esteem.
Parents dedicated to removing all discomfort, rescue their children from the consequences of their poor decisions.
Rescuing creates insecure kids, who doubt their ability to face the world without our constant protection.
Those who try to ensure success, bark orders and tell their kids exactly what to think, choose, and do.
Trying to ensure success leaves kids believing that they can't succeed on their own.
Parents who understand the Love and Logic approach allow their children to learn from plenty of affordable mistakes. Unless these mistakes pose serious risk to life, limb, or spirit, they resist the urge to step in.
When we allow our children to face struggles and encourage them with love, they become capable and responsible.
Instead of showing anger, instead of getting frustrated, instead of saying, "I told you so," great parents provide loving empathy: "This is so sad. What a bummer this happened. I love you."
When we had our first child, we were constantly trying to get him to wear his coat on cold days. Tired of these battles, we left the house one cold winter day with his coat in the trunk of the car…not on the trunk of his body. Fortunately, our car was quite old at the time and the heater only half-worked. It was amazing how much faster he learned from atmospheric conditions than from our lectures!
Mission Impossible: Trying to make the world perfect or trying to make our kids perfect.
The Love and Logic Way: Love them as they learn from the struggles they encounter.
Thanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.
Dr. Charles Fay
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